or continue to remember in 2015 …

1. It’s never too late to do the things you missed out on the first time around.
2. Accept people for who they are, and if you can’t, then perhaps change your perspective. No one is boring.
3. If you’re still angry, it’s too soon to talk.
4. Life is too short. Say you’re sorry, say how you feel, show your love before it’s too late.
5. There is always room for improvement.
6. People will always tell you their opinion; what matters is what you do with it.
7. Relationships will fail and it will hurt but you will learn from it.
8. Not everyone deserves a second chance.
9. No one is your competition. Cheering others on is way more fun than tearing them down.
10. It’s okay to put yourself first.
11. You can’t force friendships. If one is meant to be, no distance or time apart changes anything.
12. Your parents are people too. As you get older, they too are getting older.
13. Breaking up with negative friends is hard but ultimately freeing. Only surround yourself with people who allow you to be you and help you grow to be a better version of yourself.
14. Take chances and if it goes wrong, at least you know you tried.
15. De-stress, relax, and unplug.
16. Traveling is always worth it but if a flight is super duper cheap, it’s up to no good. I’m looking at you, Spirit Airlines.
17. Collect memories, not things.
18. Giving without expectation will always uplift your mood as well as others.
19. It’s okay to not have plans during the weekends. Take time to relax and enjoy doing what you love instead.
20. You’re lucky to be alive and to have all that you have.

It may be stressful to always have doors open for others, but talking to past friendships/relationships usually shows us how much we’ve grown and we learn from it. I’ve come to realize that the ones reaching out usually tends to be the ones that need help the most. They’re just afraid to ask. I’ve been told I’ve been missed and I’ve been asked for second chances among many other things. But the greatest ones of all are handwritten letters, texts, and phone calls like the one from Thursday being told I’ve changed their lives for the better without even knowing it. For most of them, a future was just a distant dream, but they got the help they needed and seeing them all on successful paths makes my heart hurt in a good way.

Sometimes our bond is closer the second time around and we actually stay in each others’ lives. But sometimes, we fall back apart and that’s okay too. Periodic check ups show we were meant to be in each others’ lives again – even if for a split second. As long as I know they’re okay, that’s all that matters. And as long as I know they’re happy, I’m happy. I cherish these people a lot because it’s always hard to initiate first contact after being apart for so long. Sometimes I’ve reached out, but sometimes it was others. It is a little awkward at first, but we get past that because when two people really care about one another, they will always look for ways to make it work, no matter how hard it is.

If you constantly reach out and you don’t get a response, learn to walk away. It doesn’t mean that you’ve give up on the friendship/relationship or that they mean nothing to you anymore. It doesn’t mean that you’ve closed the door or that you’ve stopped caring. It just means you’re tired of not being important enough. And no one should ever make you feel that way. Someone who wants you in their lives will make an effort to do so. If they don’t want to work to keep you in their lives, it won’t change, no matter what you do. Maybe they’re going through things you know nothing about and the time just isn’t right for them to gravitate back to you. Or maybe they’re not meant to be in your lives anymore. But when the time is right, you’ll feel the pull again and you or the other will reach out. If they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll come back around. If they care enough, they’ll find a way to make it work. No matter what. And when they do, don’t shut them out because they did.

Always remember that your behavior decides who stays in your life.
People can only reach out so many times.
So make an effort if you’re ever willing to stay in theirs,
Because no one can read your mind.

This year has been a constant battle with myself and my thoughts because of a lot of situations piling up that were important to me but not so much to others. It was turning me into a blob of depression and anxiety. I cried on a lot of things I couldn’t fix and probably can never fix, like seeing others in pain and not being able to mend their heart and soul. This is the first time in my life where I actually let my walls down enough to be vulnerable and I wasn’t prepared for what hit me. At the moment, I’m still stuck in between things going really well and really horrible … so I guess you could say things are going okay at the moment.

I just want to say thank you for not walking away because I wasn’t who you grew to love. Thank you for not making me explain what was going on and for that to be enough. Thank you for understanding without knowing yet still sending encouragements and checking on me throughout the days. Thank you for physically sitting with me or staying on the phone with me in silence when I couldn’t properly function because I was so lost. Thank you for not giving up on me regardless of how much higher I built my wall up to push everyone away. Thank you for slowly bringing me back. Words cannot describe just how thankful I am. I didn’t feel so alone while I was going through it all and the reason why I’m still breathing above water. I love you guys more than you’ll ever know.

P.S. Lately I’ve been having a little more downtime since I only have one more wedding to attend!! So I’ve been catching up with my YouTube subscriptions. I forgot how much I missed dance. The way someone could move their body a certain way. The way it could tell a story. I probably spent six hours watching videos after videos the other day. Sometimes I still wished I was a professional dancer. Sigh … missed opportunities.