Lifestyle | Food | Travel
This is me and why people never understand me well enough.
I say one thing but mean five billion other things that go along with it.
I can say I like you but that is merely just a summary of how I feel.
If you give me the chance, with time, I’ll be able to show you all the reasons why.
Your shirt is either blue or white.
You hate when people show off.
You’ve dated an Alex.
You woke up before 10 AM this morning.
The color blue looks better on you than yellow.
Your school’s name begins with a N.
When you were little you would play in a sandbox.
You know a Maria.
You don’t have a barn at your house.
You’ve never had to wear a gas mask.
You know at least 2 people named Kevin.
You love chocolate.
You don’t understand how money works in another country besides your own.
You’ve never been dumped in a text message.
You are one of those people who are afraid of clowns.
It’s past 2:46 PM.
You don’t ever wear skirts.
You’ve eaten a sucker within the past week.
You’ve kissed someone whose name began with a V, B or R.
You hate when people say “I’m a unicorn!”
You’ve seen a koala before.
You like the name Jonathan.
Your favorite color of balloon is orange.
The color of your TV remote is mostly white.
You spend most of your time in your bedroom.
When you get a new song you listen to it over and over again.
You’ve never been to the beach.
You have over 345 songs on your music device.
You’ve written your name in the sand multiple times.
You laughed hard today.
You wore shorts today.
The color of shoes you wore yesterday were white.
You started dating someone on the 3rd of some month.
You’ve been in a private jet.
You’ve carved your name in a tree.
You can’t play the guitar.
You currently hear a Katy Perry song playing.
Whenever you order ice cream, you always get the same kind.
You grew up in a small town.
You haven’t cried in a long time.
Your favorite song is in the top played songs on your music device.
The color of your dream car is red.
The person you like was born in Jan, July, Aug or Dec.
You want to take a nap.
Your smile is your favorite thing about yourself.
You’ve been to a Coldplay concert.
You spell ketchup like catsup.
You’ve had the same phone for about a year now.
You’re listening to your favorite song right now.
Your hair is longer than your shoulders.
You could never be a doctor, fire fighter or cop.
You miss someone right now.
You like silver jewelry more than gold.
Your favorite hoodie is red.
Your last name begins with a P, F or G.
You’ve been to one of these: Houston, TX, Cleveland, OH or New York City.
You don’t have a swimsuit yet for the summer.
You have more than $60 in your wallet.
You have about 1 or 2 pops/sodas a day.
You’ve been to the Cheesecake Factory.
You don’t know what you’re having for dinner.
You’re currently eating candy.
You like curly hair on yourself better.
You’re terrified of thunderstorms.
You like cottage cheese.
You blame Disney for high expectations for relationships.
You hate mayonnaise.
You listen to music when you’re mad.
You don’t own a pair of yellow socks.
You like the red Powerade.
You hate Trix cereal or yogurt.
You didn’t wake up last night in the middle of the night.
You’ve had a pet fish that was blue.
Your wearing a long sleeved shirt right now.
You like Jason Derulo.
You’ve danced on top of a table before.
You’re a fast runner.
You wish you could redecorate your bedroom.
You’ve learned a lot from your past relationships.
Your best friend’s name is Elise.
You can’t stand it when people don’t use smiley faces in texts.
The roof of your house is black.
The homepage on your computer is something other than Facebook.
You were born in Feb, Mar, Apr, Aug or Nov.
People’s first impression of me is happy and funny. But once they get to know me, I’m told I use sarcasm and laughter to cover the pain, a defense mechanism to tear myself down before anyone else has a chance to. Okay, I’ll agree to that. But what I don’t agree with is being told that I have a sad and horrible life.
It’s true that I’ve gone through things others never will, but I’m considered lucky. I have a great life. I’m still alive and am surrounded by love ones. Those incidents made me stronger albeit afraid of many things that normal people aren’t, but define normal. No one is normal.
There are certain times when I’ll see, smell, or hear something that triggers the past, and no matter how much I wish it away, it’ll come back at the most inconvenient of times. As a feeler of feelings, everything hurts more, especially as a perfectionist, I am unable to fix it. I try my hardest not to let it get to me, but sometimes, it does.
Sammy made me realize that though I say I’ve moved on from it all, deep down inside, I’m still waiting for an apology from those that’s torn me apart. He constantly tells me to care less and not feel so much. He’s urged me to find someone to talk to in detail of the incidents and though I know he didn’t mean himself, somehow, it did. But I got so comfortable in telling him my issues that I would feel hurt when he couldn’t understand why I was a certain way.
Since then, I’ve backed off in telling him things unsure if he finds it annoying or the crap that gets to me is stupid. Doing so made things harder because my outlet was gone and at the same time the multiple hard balls were being thrown continuously and the triggers were simultaneously occurring- things I couldn’t fix and triggers that wouldn’t go away no matter how much I thought it did.
It took taking him out of my life for a while to finally understand what he was trying to get me to see and since then the usual triggers aren’t triggers anymore or I guess weren’t as strong triggers as they use to be.
I’m happier and am starting to finally let go, accepting I’ll never get my apologies. Sometimes, I’ll fall off track and get into my moods, but knowing where it stems from makes it easier to move forward each time.
So I guess, this is a thank you to you, Sammy, if you ever end up reading this post. It’s all thanks to you for helping me see what I always knew deep inside. And because of you, I feel the weight I’ve carried for years is much lighter.
This is a picture of the car the day I signed … before they washed it and shtufffffffff.
I brought home the new car last night and this morning it’s thundering and pouring down rain! Ugh. I hate when you get a car wash and it’s ruined because of the rain. Plus I have to badge in to get to the parking garage at work and because I got my windows tinted, I cannot roll them down for a few days. Rain all over me and the inside of my car. Yay!
But other than the rain raining down on my parade (haha get it?) the car is pretty sweet. I’m still trying to get use to all the functions and so use to pressing buttons on the dash instead of on the steering wheel. I’ll get there one day … or maybe not. Who knows.
Can someone call me or text me while I’m driving? I want to try those features. kthanks!
This came in the mail and my heart just popped out of my chest when I opened the wonderful surprise.
I don’t collect things like this because I never know what to do with them. But eeps nonetheless. I’m sure it’s expensive now.
Soon to be the weekend and I’m excited. So far it seems to be a relaxing one and I cannot wait! Eeeeeeep!
Or maybe not. I don’t know. All I know is I wish I was still a child living the carefree life.
After Brother totaled his car few weeks ago, he went and bought his first car with his wife.
Dad totaled his last week.
Today I bought my first car. And we got a stink in’ good deal on it thanks to the team of people that went with me.
I knew I wanted to stay with a Subaru Forrester because I’m sentimental that way. Sadly my new car won’t have an awesome name like Forest The Black Knight Forrester. So I have to give a new name. A not so corny name like I gave my first Subaru. Any suggestions?
But the new beauty will have cooler features so I’m excited to test that all out. The car is currently still at the dealership since we are waiting for the tint. But we are hoping he’ll get to come home to us come early next week. Eeeps!
Brother, Sissy, BIL, and SIL all came home this weekend and we are doing a crawfish boil and will play video games after so I’ll have to keep this post short.
Happy weekend loves!
