By the time I let Riz out and ran my errands Friday, I arrived to World of Beer late. Sammy was already there waiting. Whoops. We spent two hours or so there talking about random things while people watching per usual. And when I got home, I saw the card Liliana had sent me. She’s known a lot of things haven’t been that great with me and her words meant the world to me. I wish she was closer. She’s currently in Mexico for a family vacation so I can’t even talk to her. Sigh.

Right after, I got a call from an old friend. We haven’t spoken in four years because the last time we did, I told him I had to walk away from our friendship unless he got help. And as he spoke, I burst into tears like a baby. As more and more people urged him, he started to realize and now he’s all better. He called to thank me. I’m not sure what I did but knowing I was able to help somehow is the best feeling ever. It’s been a long time coming and I’m happy for him. I just hope he stays on the right path and don’t fall back into his old ways.

I was starting to think this week was better than I thought until I get a text from Thing One saying I had better not be lying about Thing Two and one second later, Thing Two texts me pissed. I called Thing One because wtf … I don’t know how to fix all of this and it’s just a big mess now. Thing One tells me to stop crying and wouldn’t believe me when I told him it had nothing to do with this … understandable because I have been crying a lot lately. He tells me to leave it alone and that it’ll blow over. But I just don’t think things will go back to the way it was.

Thing One and I didn’t do anything wrong other than me telling Thing One. I know Thing Two is angry he got caught for starting things. But I got my answer this morning when I find Thing Two has deleted me off all his social media. I texted him to say that I don’t want all of this to be the reason we’re not friends anymore or for there to be hard feelings and he responded with how he’s already told me not to contact him unless it was about work. So there is my answer. I’m leaving it alone even though it kills me.

I was able to get my mind off of everything yesterday by hanging out with my friends and talking about random crap but after his response and knowing it can’t be fixed, all I’m worried about is work. If he’s able to still be professional then great but if not then it’ll be hell.

Family and friends have always been my number one most important thing. And one of my fears is losing people in my life. No matter what happens or what others do to me, I always try to forgive and will always be there no matter what so it kills me that a ship breaks. It kills me not being able to fix things and for a friendship to just die. Maybe Thing One is right and Thing Two will get over it but at the moment that seems like it’ll never be. And I’ll have to try my best to not let it affect me.

I wish everything went back to how it was. I just want everything to be okay. I just need to go back to my bubble.

I forgot how much amazingness this song is. The way he puts such upbeat instrumentals to such a sad song … gahhhh. These two ships come into each other’s lives for a short intense moment, then disappear off into the night. Although it’s not always the intention, you never see each other again. The ocean is a big place and it’s not impossible but very unlikely two ships will ever pass each other again. But if and when they do and both parties are willing, like the end of the song shows, it’ll work out.

“Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close

Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We’re just wasting time
Trying to prove who’s right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it’s just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You’re passing me by”

– Mat Kearney <3

Some work changes might be happening to me in a few months. It’s not set in stone yet but if it does happen I’ll be happy for new experiences. But at the same time, I’ll be sad. I hate changes. They freak me out.

39 days until my brother’s wedding! I still have to help mum find her second dress, find myself a second dress if I can, make the slideshow video, and all these other random things I don’t even remember on top of my head.

71 days until our trip! Did y’all hear about the explosion in Thailand that occurred on Monday? The parents are freaking out and telling us we should cancel our Phuket plans. Knowing Sissy and BIL, I doubt they will so I won’t.

For the first time in our lives, Mallory and I made plans for the same day in less than ten minutes. That never happens. And the fact that we were meeting up in a couple hours from making the plans was even more surprising.

We decided on Next Door Lounge – our old happy hour place – where we had two sangrias each and shared four different snack bites. Mashed potatoes with mini meatballs, roasted cauliflower, roasted brussels sprouts, and homemade potato chips. The brussels sprouts knocked our usual love of homemade potato chips out the water. They tasted like candy due to the sweet chili sauce.

We hadn’t hung out in over a month which didn’t seem long until we started to catch each other up with everything that’s been happening. It’s crazy how just a year ago we would hang out at least once a week if not more and now we never see each other! Hoping our future plans to go to a concert follow through even though it’s not until next March. If it does, I’ll pee in my pants from happiness.

I’m always thankful for those that reach out and make time for me especially when I shut the world out and live in my own bubble.

What I did for a while upon coming home Sunday. Just laying with Rizzo and not doing anything. He was willing to let me squeeze him so he must of missed me a lot!

Yesterday went by fairly quickly which was surprising because I wasn’t fully concentrating at work. After dinner at Sissy’s, I went and picked up Sebastian a block from his workplace so we could go to the studio. I don’t understand how he can just eat at a restaurant by himself. It took a lot of time to build up the courage for me to even go to the coffee shop and sit there by myself to work on graphic designing stuff. Maybe one day though. I heard it’s a pretty great experience. 

A 10 minute ride to the studio ended up being 20 partly because we’re not paying attention but mostly because he has the worst sense of direction. I always end up listening to him and we always get lost.

Upon entering the studio, everyone was taking selfies with pinata Ed. Ed wasn’t going to make this taping we so decided to dedicate this episode to him where we end up smashing his head … filled with trash … with a bat. It was a good episode. A lot of laughs and smooth sailing.

I’ve been asked what I do at the studio. And my answer is pretty much anything and everything. I’ve done it all except be on screen. I’ve been on screen in the past before this show and I can honestly say I like it better in the background. I get a headset and mostly just boss people around during the show. After the show, I point out the positives and negatives and advise them on what to do to make everything better. It’s been rough but we’re slowly getting there.

We’re putting a vote to see if we want to do a Season 4. I’ve mentioned I might not show up every episode but I know Ed and John will call for advice if I’m not there so I’ll have my hand in it either way.

Afterward, Mick, Sebastian, and I went to Tout Suite while everyone else went to a bar. We spent awhile there just talking about girls and traveling and plain nonsense. This is only the second time I’ve met Mick but I can now say I know a professional tennis player on top of already knowing professional basketball players. I’m awesome, I know.

Anytime I have to take Sebastian back to his car, we have a good 30+ minutes to catch up. We always talk about the most random things but it’s usually relationships, music, and weddings. Apparently I’m a flirt like him which surprised me since I’m always told I suck at it. Plus a lot of the times I only talk to people to be nice. We’re thinking of possibly doing open mic night but that’s up in the air. We shall see.

Overall, it wasn’t as bad of a Monday as I thought it’ll be. Hopefully the rest of the week is just as great.

How is the weekend already over?

This year has been going by so fast since most of my weekends have been taken up. All I want to do is travel.

Have you heard about Gunnar Garfors? He traveled to all 198 countries before turning 40. You can read an article on that here.

So … who wants to be my travel buddy? Teehee

How I felt on the ride back from the Big D.

It was a pretty chill bachelorette party overall since we did the crazy pre-bachelorette back in December. Possibly more on this weekend’s festivites some time this week.

Off to run errands before the week begins. Hope y’all had a great weekend!

Until next time,