Mellie Dee ♥

Girl’s Night In

April 14, 2019 by Mellie Dee Leave a Comment

Friday night, June and I decided to watch telly together. It’s been a while since I’ve watched anything on the telly or listened to any music since it triggers me about Scruffy. But I took the chance and watched Bachelorette on Netflix. There were parts that broke me in the movie but if I was able to laugh at certain parts then I would be okay. We started watching OCTB as well, a Hong Kong drama on Netflix. Those few hours helped me through and after a phone call with Patricia, I was able to fall asleep.

Saturday morning Sissy came over and we, along with June, went and got pedicures. Then we went home and picked up Grandma for Sushi 9.

Lobster Stuffed Pinwheel Salmon with Priscilla

Priscilla was nice enough to entertain me in the afternoon since she knew I needed distractions. When I got to her place we went and picked up her phone that was getting fixed then to HEB to buy groceries to make dinner. Stuffed salmon and asparagus is still one of my favourite meals. Instead of crab we got lobster. Equally perfect.

I’m not a big lover of tres leches but I will say HEB makes a pretty good one for cheap.

We ended up watching random things then finally, Red Sparrow. It was a good movie and kept my mind of off things. Then we just had girl talk.

It hasn’t been a year of knowing her but we click and I’m thankful that even though I was depressed at my old job, she was the best thing that came out of it.

All Sunday I’ve been relaxing the best I can , watching OCTB with June when we can, and am thankful for those that have picked up the phone to talk nonsense to me so that I can think about nothing for a bit.

Doctors, Mentors, and Thanks

April 12, 2019 by Mellie Dee Leave a Comment

Happy Friday! Or at least I’m trying to keep positive. We have to work from home today since our side of the floor is getting cubicles put in. I’m not really happy about that since going to work usually helps me not think about things too much.

Gross picture, I know. But I got shots put into my feet again a couple of days ago. This is my third dermatologist at the same place and his verdict is the same as my first, eczema, while my second said it was psoriasis. Hopefully this shot will heal everything for a year or so if not more. This also means no more shots every other week in my belly for the psoriasis! Yay!

The new keyboard I got back in February dies really fast that I already changed the battery twice. This third time it just stopped working overall and I was told I can order any keyboard from Staples or Amazon and work will pay for it. I was shocked when they allowed me to get a gaming keyboard and mouse. The rotating rainbow makes me happy. I joked that if I have it set to red, don’t talk to me. And if it was yellow, approach with caution. I still use my rollerball mouse as this one will be for people who come to my cube. I want to take it all home and keep it forever.

I signed up to be a mentor for underprivileged Juniors and Seniors in high school who would like to go to college but unsure where to start since they might be first generation to go.

There have been six or so sessions and I’ve only been to two total since I had personal obligations going on for the other sessions. Everyone has been assigned a few kids and I was partnered with Erin to learn the ropes.

On my first time there another student, who’s mentor couldn’t make it, joined our group. A week later I get an email saying that this student personally request that I be her mentor but only if I was okay with it because I was great at it.

I feel a sense of accomplishment since everything in my life has been a horrible mess. She’s a gorgeous Muslim girl who wants to be a nurse. Her grades are amazing, very easy to talk to and I know she’ll go places. She kind of reminds me of Scruffy’s cousin; no, not because of the Muslim aspect but everything else I said and because she has a lot of motivation to do good in the world.

They had a book fair afterward and I got very excited. I took pictures of some of the books I hope to read in the future.

Afterward Christopher and I went to Next Door Bar & Lounge for drinks. We had some snacks and I ordered a steak for myself since I didn’t eat lunch. So much food that I had to pack it home. We talked about life, relationships, and work.

I’m thankful for Chris as well as everyone else who’s been there for me since Scruffy and I stopped talking beginning of January. I’ve been in constant pain and even more when he met up with me on St. Patrick’s day. No matter how many times they’ve listened to me or watched me cry they are still there to help me through the best they can. It’s still a struggle but I’m taking it day by day.

Now the real question: should I order crawfish for lunch since I’m working from home? Hmm …

Quotes | If It’s Meant To Be, It’ll Be

April 9, 2019 by Mellie Dee Leave a Comment

Upon returning to Houston last night, I called an Uber. I’m still new to the whole going-to-places-by-myself thing and I accidentally sat in the front. It was too late to get out and move to the back because that would have been awkard. In doing so the driver and I bonded. We bonded so well that we ended up missing exits and turns.

No, don’t get your panties in a twist. This isn’t an epic love story in the making.

I couldn’t stop replaying the conversation from the ride all day long and I figured I might as well put “pen to paper” to get these thoughts out especially since some of my friends have brought to my attention that they thought everything was fine and dandy in my life until they talked to me on the phone or physically saw me. I try my best not to write any sadness in my blog as I want to only look back on the good but I guess sometimes, you just have to write.

He is a 46 year old (he looks 35) from Jersey and we started talking about relationships since that’s the reason he moved to Houston. He dated this girl for 12 years on-and-off but in the end, “she was a little crazy, immature, and inconsiderate because it was always about her”. They haven’t spoken since last May even though the girl would like to get back with him.

12 years … I gave my heart to Scruffy for over 5 years and in a relationship with him for over 2 1/2 years. The first step to recovery is admitting you’re not okay, right? Well then, I admit it; I’m not okay. I cannot imagine 12 years of loving someone and ending up heartbroken. It’s crazy how we give so much of ourselves to someone just to be broken in the end.

The driver did tell me, as well as others in my life, that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. But at the moment the driver is not ready for another relationship and just overall, tired. I feel the same way in the sense that I don’t know how to give my heart to someone else, at least not anytime soon. It still belongs to him and probably will for quite a while.I’ve never cared for anyone as much as I did for him. I still do. He is my best friend, my first for so many things, teaching me how to see things differently.

When we were dating and even now, his words constantly pop in my head when anxiety sets in. They “fight” each other so much that it would physically hurt my head and my heart until I just cannot breathe. I know he’s right (sometimes) when I overreact and I know my anxieties are silly. I try so hard to overcome them but sometimes, they win. I wish he understood how hard I was trying but I feel defeated knowing I kept letting him down.

Before I left for the trip and during my trip, my anxiety kept creeping back up but his words kept running through my head with every encounter and it helped me through. Even though he’s not physically here, it’s comforting to know that in some way he still is.

At the end of the day I just want him to be happy and succeed in everything he ever dreamed of because that’s what real love is.

… No matter how much love was lost, and no matter how much distance there was. You lose each other to find each other again. That is what it is like when someone is meant for you; if they leave, they will return and stay forever.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Day 5

April 8, 2019 by Mellie Dee Leave a Comment

Look! Another dog, Gohan, getting wiped after being outside … And his owner is not Asian! Some people always thought it was weird. Also, Minnie has heartworms and cannot be jumping around so she’s been caged for a while. Poor girl.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Market House Grille | Meadville, Pennsylvania

Lily and I got ready and went to Market House Grille for breakfast. Per usual, everything tasted great but I couldn’t finish it again.

We went to the market next door and then to the post office. My carry on ran out of room so I had to mail my souvenirs back home.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Presque Isle Drive | Erie, Pennsylvania

Liliana started driving to Erie and started taking me to a scary area. I bet it’s gorgeous once the leaves grew back.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Presque Isle | Erie, Pennsylvania

Pisque Isle was pretty. And freezing. I’m surprised there was a man bearing the cold just to fish!

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Presque Isle Lighthouse | Erie, Pennsylvania

We tried to go to the lighthouse but it was closed. I’m assuming because of the weather. I have still yet gone into a lighthouse. Sigh …

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Tom Ridge Environmental Center at Presque Isle | Erie, Pennsylvania

We went to the environmental center to learn about how the island has changed throughout the years. It was very interactive and free! The chairs are made from recycled material which I found really interesting since it looks like wood.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Bruster's Real Ice Cream | Erie, Pennsylvania

When your best asks you if you want ice cream while you’re bawling your eyes out, you say yes.

I think I’ve found my favourite ice cream, Graham Central Station, from Bruster’s. This is the first ice cream cone I finished without hesitation. Yum! I wish I could ship some back home!

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Erie to Chicago

She stayed with me at the airport for an hour and a half as I waited to board my flight to Chicago. It’s been a while since we talked like this so it was nice.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Chicago to Houston

I didn’t have much time to grab anything to eat since I had to walk to my next gate. I’m currently sitting on the plane waiting for lift off. I cannot wait to be back in Houston. I only wished I was going home so I could cuddle Rizzo.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Day 4

April 7, 2019 by Mellie Dee Leave a Comment

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Present from Liliana

Liliana got in late last night before the wedding ended so I didn’t get to see her. But I met up with her bright and early in her hotel room and was showered with gifts. I’m not sure how I’m going to take the basket but I’m excited to try everything else out!

We left the hotel and walked around at the shops while waiting for our reservations. I was able to pick up a few souvenirs so that was nice.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Sabrina's Cafe | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sabrina’s Cafe is so cute and quaint and there was a long line of hungry people. The turn around was very fast though.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Sabrina's Cafe | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | The Tots, Scrapple, & The Slinky

By the time we got our table we were starving. They give you so much food, all delicious, that we couldn’t finish it all. The scrapple was the best thing ever invented. I’m sure it’s horrible for you but since it’s created in Philadelphia we knew we had to try it. I need to find a recipe for it and recreate it!

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Philadelphia's Magic Gardens | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Liliana & Mellie Dee

We waited to go into Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens which is pretty much mosaic designs. A nice gentlemen helped us take a picture after he notice we were struggling on selfie mode.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Philadelphia's Magic Gardens | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Instagram

I was just living my life, taking in the gorgeousness while Lily treated me like an Instagram model. I need a haircut.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Hershey's Chocolate World | Hershey, Pennsylvania | Liliana & Mellie Dee

We continued our road trip to Meadville, stopping at Hershey’s Chocolate World. The air really does smell like chocolate!

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Hershey's Chocolate World | Hershey, Pennsylvania | Create Your Own Candy Bar

We created our own candy bars. It was an easy process and it was cool to see it in action. I’m not too sure if I’d ever eat the candy bar but at least I have the tin can and sleeve I designed to keep forever.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Hershey's Chocolate World | Hershey, Pennsylvania | Create Your Own Candy Bar, Liliana & Mellie Dee

I wish we had more time to do other things there but we had fun nonetheless. We did end up spending a big chunk of time at the gift shop though I wish their packaging wasn’t so normal so that I could get some souvenirs and it would look special and not like I went and got it at the store back home.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | McDonald's Pit Stop

Lily got hungry so our light snack at McDonald’s became somewhat of a meal as we trucked on with our road trip.

It’s been a good few hours and we are still on the road. It has been raining a lot and I’m surprised by the amount of cars that are on the road at this time on a Sunday.

2019 Pennsylvania Trip | Dinner by Daniel

Daniel has lovingly offered to cook us dinner since everything will be closed by the time we arrived. I’m still stuffed but everything was delicious and he even popped a bottle of wine for us. I’m ready to crash because I am pooped.