Mellie Dee ♥

Currently sitting outside in this wonderful weather typing away on my new mini laptop! This one has a way better keyboard than the one I use for my graphic designing! … gahhh so amazing! I just have to get use to the track pad which is driving me nuts but I know I’ll figure it out.

I actually bought a mini one a a little over a year ago but it broke down on me and I was too lazy to get it fixed. The reason for splurging on another mini one is because of my upcoming trip. I want to blog daily like I did on my other long trips but I didn’t want to lug around my heavy, old, giant one. If I don’t like this mini after a few days, I’m going to return it and lug the ancient one halfway across the world so no worries.

It took me just now to realize I’ll already be on a plane a week from now. I am both excited and ridden with anxiety. It’s funny how I’ve always been this way with a lot of things. So excited for what’s to come but also afraid of the unknown. Like with relationships for example – single fo life, yo!

Take Cancun for example. I was so excited about everything we were going to do and getting to witness both my friends getting married. Plus, it was the first real trip without any family members or soon to be family members. I was counting down the days but a few days before I actually left, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay and not go anymore. I was still excited but not as much as I was before.

It was hilarious to me that the guy I was kind of talking to at the time thought I didn’t want to go because of him. If he’d only known how much anxiety I was getting from fear of the unknown. Afraid something would go wrong (which did). But by the end of the trip I did have fun and I did not regret going.

Knowing I’m filled with anxiety doesn’t make it easier this time around but it’s not as scary knowing I’m only going home to see my loved ones with my love ones. I’m excited to make new memories and I’m trying to tell my stupid anxiety to go away because everything will be okay.

Oh blogging … how I miss thee.

Until next time,

Swell … who still uses that word? haha I had one of the best weekends in a long time … that didn’t involve a wedding.

I bought a lot of things I will “need” for my upcoming trip through Amazon, one of which is a laptop. I’ll probably return it … I’m too lazy when it comes to shopping so I usually do it online where returns can be done easily. Because of that, I’m surprised I went shopping (not for the trip) with Apurva. My own little personal shopper who asked my questions and fetched different sizes for me voluntarily. If I had this service every time I shopped, I might actually enjoy it …. Nah.

Invitations. Postcards. Macaroons. A package of Halloween goodness. They were all given to me from lovelies that make my heart melt with joy. It’s still weird when people give me things. I’m not use to it and anyone who knows me knows I’m usually the giver. If I like someone or am super close with someone, they’ll get random gifts because everything would remind me of them. I still want to buy him everything I see but I know he’d be weirded out if I did. But being able to give four birthday gifts to their rightful owners this weekend helped a little. The smiles I received made me happy but they don’t compare to his.

I was able to see a lot of old high school friends and met some new ones at Vincent’s. Always the goofiest times there. Uncontrollable laughter for no freaking reason. Or maybe there is a reason. I spent most of the time catching up with Sebastian per usual and we could feel the jealousy coming off of this girl. I like to purposely egg her on and it’s hilarious to watch them both. The only downfall is I’m stuck in the middle. Sorry, Sebastian. You’re only there for my amusement.

Nine more days … I’m already in vacation mode.

I’ve been so busy these past two weekends that I went shopping to de-stress. SHOPPING. Who am I? Wake me up when September ends? haha I’m glad I went though because I bumped into Amanda and Brent who made fun of me for shopping out of my own free will.

Been on repeat these last couple weeks. Easily one of my favourite couples on YouTube. They were meh about one another until he fell in love with her voice. After a while of courtship (bahaha courtship) they are now married. Love the glances they give each other when they sing. Stinkin’ cute.

After all this time memories won’t fade.
And your voice hasn’t left me.
It’s the fuel that keeps my heart from lifting,
But things can always change.
And your next move will choose which way I go.
And losing you would shake all that I know.
… I don’t feel I’m asking for too much.
Just a word from you would be enough.
And while you decide what you feel is right,
I’m saving all the air that I have left.
While you decide about you and I
… I’ll sit here and just hold my breath.

– Hold My Breath :: Kenzie Nimmo & Harris Heller –