This year has been a constant battle with myself and my thoughts because of a lot of situations piling up that were important to me but not so much to others. It was turning me into a blob of depression and anxiety. I cried on a lot of things I couldn’t fix and probably can never fix, like seeing others in pain and not being able to mend their heart and soul. This is the first time in my life where I actually let my walls down enough to be vulnerable and I wasn’t prepared for what hit me. At the moment, I’m still stuck in between things going really well and really horrible … so I guess you could say things are going okay at the moment.
I just want to say thank you for not walking away because I wasn’t who you grew to love. Thank you for not making me explain what was going on and for that to be enough. Thank you for understanding without knowing yet still sending encouragements and checking on me throughout the days. Thank you for physically sitting with me or staying on the phone with me in silence when I couldn’t properly function because I was so lost. Thank you for not giving up on me regardless of how much higher I built my wall up to push everyone away. Thank you for slowly bringing me back. Words cannot describe just how thankful I am. I didn’t feel so alone while I was going through it all and the reason why I’m still breathing above water. I love you guys more than you’ll ever know.
P.S. Lately I’ve been having a little more downtime since I only have one more wedding to attend!! So I’ve been catching up with my YouTube subscriptions. I forgot how much I missed dance. The way someone could move their body a certain way. The way it could tell a story. I probably spent six hours watching videos after videos the other day. Sometimes I still wished I was a professional dancer. Sigh … missed opportunities.