Thankful Thursday

Upon arriving to work, I get compliments on how I look today. Maybe writing things out last night helped in making me a little happier and it’s showing through. Or maybe I really do look like crap daily and today I look a little better. haha

I’m thankful for the good in my heart even though I tend to apologize for it – for lending a hand, for giving, for my compassion, for my love, for my actions to show I care a little too much – as they walk away. But I shouldn’t have to apologize for seeing all the good in someone and wanting to give them the best of everything. Not many people can appreciate all the good in my heart and I tend to forget to hold back and end up getting hurt. I try my best to treat others the way I would want to be treated (still learning not to expect it in return) but I slip up sometimes, I’m only human. I can only hope they can still see the good in me.

I’m thankful for work even though it has been stressful due to the workload. I like the distractions. When I get overwhelmed by so many things, I tend to reevaluate my priorities and shift my energy to focus on or fix what’s more important to me at the moment. I’ve been focused on work ever since the boy who wasn’t ready. I’ve been helping and teaching others what I know in hopes they gain more experiences for their future and it seems to be going really well.

I’m thankful I was able to recognize triggers this past week. I’ve already worked through my first but the second is a lot harder since he will soon be in my home for a while. But it’s not consuming me like it did before. I’ve realized I’ve been waiting for apologies and explanations I won’t ever get. And knowing that makes me stronger and hopeful that the triggers will all fade away.

Yesterday, my old high school friend found out he has a heart condition and might have to go into surgery. It all depends on the doctor visit coming up. I’m hoping it’s just a misdiagnosis. He’s been through so much and it hurts me to see him go through another medical issue. I know he feels so alone and I wish he’d see all the people who love him. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.