After eight years, I finally got my apology and I don’t quite know what to do with it. All I do know is that he wants to be back in my life but I don’t know if I can. He wanted to meet up when he was passing by my city last month and I agreed because I could hear from his words he was hoping something was still there. And I wanted to meet in a very public place so that I can finally get that closure. And I could hear, from his voice the disappointment, like the disappointment I heard years ago when something didn’t go his way. Because we did not meet up. Because the universe worked against us in meeting up.
And that in itself was enough for me to realize, hearing his voice sans face was closure enough.
But I take all that I’ve learned from him, and though I’m trembling, afraid the past will repeat. If we meet again, I will be okay and maybe one day he’ll be just a distant friend that you say “hi” to once in a blue moon. But that will be enough for me to see if he’s changed who he use to be.